I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
