There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
