i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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