Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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