I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
