I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
