Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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