I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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