i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
