Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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