She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
