you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
