I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
