i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
