in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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