I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The feeling are messing with the penis
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
