mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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