therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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