i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
