My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
