we made out on top of his cat.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
