Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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