i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
