so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
