If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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