I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you will always have a special place in my vag
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
