Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
