im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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