I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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