We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
