Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
