How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
