So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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