It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
