STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
