I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
