i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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