Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
