I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This is my gift to your gina
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
