Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
