Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
