just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
