she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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