my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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