I wannas sexs uuuuu
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
