It's like God shit irony all over that family
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
