Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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