So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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