mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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