spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
